Sunday, September 21, 2008
So this is a place that I love. I don't know anyone who doesn't love it. I have left this place, and I am going on to be a citizen. Malibu is a place that is truly unique, and as Gilbert Fuller says, "everyone must go down the inlet someday." So the real question is: what can I take with me from Malibu? Is it the people, the place, or is it something much bigger? I believe that what Malibu is in it's location, can be exported. It is my job to make sure that every moment is filled with the love and purpose that Malibu has. A taste of the Kingdom is truly sweet, and I want to taste that in other communities. What kingdom do I belong to? I can choose my citizenship.
I am back in the States, and it feels interesting to say the least. It is nice to see strangers on the street and remember what it is that I like so much about the northwest. It is sad to see people's need to have things, and buy things, and sell things. It is sad to see people's lack of care for others... selfishness. It is sad to know that those same tendencies are in me and it is a constant fight to keep them away. I don't win that fight most of the time. So Christ is calling me to something more than wanting a new cell phone, or getting the right job; in fact Christ is calling me to love more. Love God more, and love people more.
My mother talks all the time about how we should be different enough from the rest of the world that people notice. She has people come up to her sometimes and ask what about her is different. I am not that different yet. I look a lot like the rest of the world. I feel like if we look like the rest of the world we are loosing the battle. I don't think it really takes much to be different. It might be as complicated as loving everyone freely and honestly.
So the challenge to myself is to not be like the rest of the world in it's bad ways. I want to live differently. That means that I need to eat differently, consume differently, talk differently, trust differently, think differently, see differently, and love thoroughly. I want my reasons for living to change, and for my objectives to be different. What is my purpose? Christ has a purpose for me and everyone that is way better than the world's purpose, or the American purpose (also known as the American Dream). Side note: I am not sure that there is anything wrong with the American Dream, but the American dream from 100 years ago is a lot different than the American Dream of today. Health and wellbeing are great... but what is all of this extra crap that we drag along?
Anyway. This is an ongoing, Spirit lead, thought experiment for me. I have been thinking about this a lot for the past few months, and I don't have any solutions except for the ones that Christ gave us a long time ago. I just need the trust and courage to follow Christ. I wrongly think that I am better off doing things for myself, when I really just need to let go of my selfish ambition and take on Christ's ambition.
I have big plans for the next few months. I am in Tacoma right now, and then I will be in Seattle for a few days. I will be heading to Portland for a couple weeks, and that visit will end with a Sigur Ros concert. From there I will be heading to Idaho to see my parents and go camping with my dad for a few weeks. Then I am doing something fantastic. I am meeting my best friend Kyle in Europe to backpack for a month and a half. I am not proud of the money that I am spending on it, but I know this trip will be very good for our friendship. That is my weak justification for the trip. I really just want to be with Kyle and see Europe. However, if Kyle just wanted to camp in my parents backyard for a month and a half, I would still spend the money if I had to. So it is important to me. Side note: I realize that this last thought might contain some inconsistent thinking, but I am trying to make my thoughts and beliefs consistent; sometimes it is a rocky road. My mother calls this the age of inconsistent thinking, so I seem to fall victim of that quite often. That is a good topic for another time.
After Europe I will head back to Idaho for Christmas. Then, depending on how God leads, I will be moving to Portland to hopefully live with Kyle.
I hope this finds you well... I actually hope that it finds you, or that you find it. I mean; this is the next worst thing to talking with me face to face.