Surprise party

So I am sitting here in the Boise airport and I am listening to a nice song called “The Ice Is Getting Thiner.” My music is loud because there is a man with a heavy “western” accent almost yelling into his phone. I guess he thinks that he is on a walkie-talkie (insert Brian Regan reference). It is funny how people don't know how they are perceived by other people around them. I guess I am guilty of the same naivety. Hopefully I will grow out of that. Yes... I am still growing. I still get growing pains too. The pains seem to be getting worse as I grow more. Growth is a good thing; it is better than the alternatives.

This trip was supposed to be a surprise for some people, and I think it has surprised me more. I still have a few more days, but they will be long days. I am flying back to Portland where I will see some people, and surprise some people at a wedding. And then I will be driving back to Canada for the rest of the summer. I should be there until late September.

I am now trying to drown out the kids in the arcade across the terminal who are screaming at the top of their lungs. Where are their parents?

So the U.S. has surprised me. There are five ways that I have been caught off guard:
1. I have been living in a wonderful community in Canada. The best things about this community are that everyone lives in the same place and eats the same food, we all work together, fellowship together, worship together, pray together, and play together. There seems to be nothing to strive for. We were all placed there by God for different reasons, but we all work under one good reason. There is no symbol of status other than people's clothing, and even then, most of us were work cloths a lot. So as I left camp I immediately noticed the difference. Everyone was waiting in lines, driving fast, talking on their cell phones, and trying to make money right now (insert another Brian Regan reference). Some would call this whole game the rat race, or the pursuit of the American Dream. Almost everyone is doing it. So I have been thinking about it and I can't see any way around participating in this game at least a little. I think that the real challenge is how you play the game. Even Jesus held down a day job, but I am sure that the difference was in how he worked, and how he lived in the real world. The problem with Malibu is that it is not real. I can stay there for a while and pretend like it is real and I don't have to leave, but sooner or later I will have to step into the rat race. The hope is that I can live the Kingdom of Heaven in the rat race. I have to live in it, but I don't have to do it the same as the rest of the world. I feel like the more you let Christ into the rat race, that the less it looks like a rat race and the more it looks like God's Kingdom. When we let Jesus in our lives we can't help but be different. If I am not different, then maybe I am not letting Christ in enough.

2. I am worried about what I am going to do when I get back from Canada. It is easy to just disengage from the world I left behind. So I guess in a way it is good the be here and start thinking about what I need to do in a few months.

3. It is hard to surprise people when you need a place to stay or someone to pick you up from the airport.

4. I might be the reason that my friendships are not good sometimes. I can't always blame them. Nothing beats intentionality.

5. I know a lot of people in Boise. It seems to be calling my name to move here... but I don't think I will give in. Nice place to visit, but not what I am looking for.

I am sure that in the next two days I will be surprised even more than that. Lets hope it is God that surprises me.

Here is a little game for those who read this: How many times have I used the words surprise and grow in this blog? The answer will be at the end.

The next morning:
So I was picked up at the Portland airport by one of my most dear friends. We then went to wonderful Mexican food, and that burrito was one of the best I have ever had. It was really good to catch up with my friend. We were able to talk about ways that we have hurt each other in the past, and resolve a lot of it. It is always good to be honest and get things out into the open. It is trying to develop Shalom in relationships, and that can only be done by the grace of God. We talked about spiritual struggles, and encouraged each other. She encouraged me and strengthened my faith in ways that she doesn't even know. It was one of the best lunches I have ever had. Good food, and redemptive conversation. Nothing better.

I didn't want to come back here because I was scared. I was scared that the world I knew changed and I didn't. I have come to discover that I have changed as well. I haven't grown in as many ways as I would have liked, but I have changed. So the scary thing is how the world I know has changed. I am worried that the things that I have become so comfortable with will never be the same. It is good though, because things would get really boring. Things are very different here. It will be interesting to see what life will be like for me when I come back in September.

There is more to come tonight. The wedding will be great. I just found out that I have to drive to Canada right after the wedding to make the first ferry of the day tomorrow.

Answer key:
Grow - 8
Surprise – 9
If you got it right, then I will give you a big hug next time I see you.

Blessings

Malibu #2

Life at Malibu is fast. The only time it slows down is on my day off. I get one day off a week and it is on day 4. This means that I get a day off on the fourth day of camping a week. It is a different day of the week every time. This week it is Sunday, but last week it was Monday, and next week it will be Saturday. I am so excited because my parents are coming up here in about a week, and it will be really good to see them again. I have seen them more in the last few months than I have in the past few years. Between graduation and Malibu I will have seen Mom three time and my Dad two times since late April. I am excited for Mom to be up here without kids to lead. It will be nice for her to just enjoy Malibu for once. Dad hasn't ever been here before, and it will be really great to see what Mom and I have been involved in for so many years. I think that I will have him work with me for at least one day. It will be really cool show him the things that I do from day to day. Dad and I didn't really have a good relationship when I was a kid, and I am excited now when I get a chance to be with him. It is different now because we are both adults and we have a lot of the same interests. It is cool because I know things that he doesn't know and he knows things that I don't know, so we share a lot of that knowledge with each other. In the fall we are going hunting together. I don't have a tag, but I will still go and camp with him for a while. He will probably go for about a three weeks, but I might just camp for a week or so. I am excited to just spend some time with him. Now that I am out of collage, I don't know how often I will be able to spend with my parents. I would love to make that a priority.

Speaking of family and being able to visit with them, I have been thinking of that for a while. Being up here I have seen a different way of living life. I have seen more of a Kingdom-like way of life. I have just noticed that the pace of life is a lot different up here. More healthy. We all work hard and get A LOT of work done, but it is not killing any of us. Is it possible that we do not have to work the way that we do as an American culture? It might be possible that we can have more healthy communities and families if we work hard, but less. I think it might have something to do with our false need to have more more more. What if I just worked for what I need to live, and then just kept that up? I have grown up in a culture in which that is a scary thought. Not only would I have to live within my means, but my means would have to be only what I need, and not what I want. Or what the market tells me I want. So if I work less and live a more care free life, then wouldn't I have more time for important things such as family? My relationships would be more healthy, and I could take the time to focus on the important things. I have a friend who had worked hard all of his life and has done very well in a worldly sense. He is a good father and husband, and he loves God. The thing that stands out to me the most about this man, is he works hard when he does work, but his work is not his priority compared to God and family. All of this makes him seem very relaxed and loving. A slow start in the morning, a long lunch break, and quiting early with the same amount of work accomplished. I guess what I am talking about here is work ethic. Has my generation lost that ideal? Hard work when work is done. Why not enjoy everyday of your life, rather than losing most of your life to working so that you can then retire and be bored. Right now at least, I am going to live my retirement every day in little segments. Minuets at a time.

I don't want it to seem like my life up here is easy. I work hard and sweat every day. There are frustrating moments when things go wrong. God has been challenging me a lot. There are a few staff members for this session and the whole summer that I have to pray for patience with. That is a hard one for me. We are also trying to change the way I view women. I see women in a very sexual way, rather than in a healthy, respectful way. I noticed that I tend to gravitate to women that I find more attractive, and try and be friends with them before I try and become friends with someone I don't find attractive. I know that this is very shallow, but I am being honest, and I am trying to change. It is frustrating to know this about myself, but I know God will help me through this. I guess another phrase for this is “objectifying women.” I don't want to be that guy, and I am sure God doesn't want that for me either.
This job came at the right time in my life. I love it up here, but I don't think that God brought me up here because he thought that I would like it. I think God brought me here so I could heal and learn. Praise the lord for that. My hope is that I can be open to both. You can pray for me in that.

It is now time for me to get out and enjoy my day off.
Blessings

Malibu #1

Dear loved ones,
I don't know if anyone checks this blog anymore, but if not, then it takes the pressure off. I am in the middle of my second week here at Malibu, and it is my first day off. I have spent the day resting and spending some time with other interns. We will be watching a movie shortly, and that movie will be Once. Good film if you have not seen it yet. It took me less than two seconds to feel at home here. The second face I saw as I stepped off the boat was that of my dear friend Kelly McElroy. She has been working here on the program team for the month. Then next person I saw was good friend and singer/song writer Jonah Warner. It was nice to get the warm greeting. About thirty seconds after I left the boat ramp Harold (The Malibu property manager) grabbed me and threw me into the luggage line. It took us about an hour to get all of the luggage and freight transferred by hand on and off the boat. This is what everyone on the property lovingly refers to as “boat day.” So within the first hour I was completely exhausted and dirty. The rest of my first day here consisted of getting to know the new people, and catching up with old friends. I really do love it here. In many ways it is close representation of the Kingdom of God here and now. The community is amazing, and the love is supernatural. This is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to. I think it just appeals to the type of landscape here.
I wish that all of you could see what camp is like. There is nothing like it in the world. Not only is this one of the most beautiful places in the world (One of the top ten must see yachting destinations in the world according to Yachters Magazine), but what we do here is awesome. I wish everyone could come and visit for a week. If you have never seen Young Life camping, then you can't even begin to understand what we do here. This is not a church camp, but kids do encounter Christ here in a real way.
I have been working hard here. It is really nice to get dirty and get something done. I love working with my hands, and it is great to serve God in this way. The first session is about to end, and that means that around 100 staff people will leave and we will get a new group of staff people who need to be trained for the next session. It is sad to see people go, but it is exciting to see new faces and build new relationships. It is nice to be here right now. I didn't realize how much I needed to get away from Oregon and all the emotions it holds for me. Right now I don't even want to go back. I get to take a week out of camp in a few weeks, and I don't really want to go back to Oregon. I think God has brought me here for many reasons, and one of those reason is to heal. It is good for me to be here. I do miss all of my friends though. I just need this right now, and my heart knows it.

This is the view to the east from Malibu.

This is a picture of the west side of Malibu from the Jervis Inlet.

This is a long exposure of the Malibu camp incinerators at night.

Thailand aftermath continued:

I don't really know where to start. I have had almost three weeks to reflect on our trip. I don't think that I can handle long term missions like that unless I am with people I really love greatly. I really liked all of the people on the trip, but I didn't chose them, and it is hard to be on a trip like that with twenty other people. I know that God selected all of the people for the trip, but God also knew that it was only going to be three weeks. I don't know if I am built for long term overseas missions. I would love to do it, but that might just be Christian culture talking. I have always struggled with what I call the “noble mission.” I feel like in Christian culture we have this idea that some missions are more “noble” than others even though this is not true at all. There is this assumption that someone who is in full time missions over seas is better than someone who is in full time missions in their retail store. I heard somewhere that the country that the most Christian missionaries are sent to is the U.S. This means the the rest of the world sees the great need that we have right in our own country. So why is it that we can't even see our own need? Why is it that all we hear about is the people who are leaving the U.S. to go on missions, when we should also be hearing about the people who are staying here on mission? I am not trying to challenge the validity people who feel called to go overseas. I guess that struggle I have is wanting the approval of others. I know that I should be able to mission where ever God calls me to be, but I am just so concerned with what other people think. I want people to be impressed with what my mission is. I know that as long as I am listening to God's call, then Jesus will be impressed with my mission, so I should be happy with that. That is the struggle with my future. So Thailand helped me realize that couldn't overseas missions full time, unless it is was with a wife or something. I guess I will not completely rule it out. God will let me know in due time.